It’s weird, I like to think of myself as very free spirited in the sense where I think almost everything is relative. Yet lately, i’ve been finding myself very emotionally affected when I start reading too much into something because I almost want an absolute answer. For example all these usage of “maybes”, “try”, “sometime”, “possibly” is driving me insane. I can’t decide whether it then means the person doesn’t care and doesn’t want to give an absolute answer in fear of committing to something he/she wants to get out of OR it is simply just saying sure, sometime in the future sound nice. And just that. Doesn’t have any hidden meaning behind it. But why do i have this feeling of uneasiness when there’s no absolute in an answer. I mean, i know i don’t follow suit and is definitely being hypocritical about this, but i can’t get over it. I guess words mean a lot to me. There’s some absoluteness in words.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. If i die, will anyone know?
I know it seems morbid and sad, but I tend to keep such a distance from people that I feel like no one would. Maybe half a year would have to pass before someone figures it out. That seems like a little too long.
Life is valuable, but is mine?
Even though I know it is so obvious that life isn’t fair, but I think it’s still close to hard to not let that effect you. And it shouldn’t. I think if we start letting the concept of unfairness be part of everyday life and just “how things are”, this is not the life to be living in. To me fairness, has always been one of the strongest characteristic I admire and strive for. But because of that, i believe also that it bothers me that much more when things aren’t fair.
Lately, i’ve been encountering a lot of people who loves to talk the talk, complain, whine, cry, over dramatize everything, but don’t ever actually do something about it. And those people get away with it. Someone else either picks up their slack or fixes their problem for them. I don’t know if there’s ever any way to deal with people like this. Their one goal is to complain and victimize themselves rather than looking for a solution and following it through. So what do you do with people like this? What is their role in our society? How do you justify what they’re doing and getting away with into your own life and your own role in society?
and none are really accidental or natural. I feel like more and more people don’t care to live. No drive to live and loss of hope perhaps? Where’s that will? That strength?
Maybe to die is just easier? Yet, seems like a very selfish and weak move. Quitter mentality.
Feel very saddened by this. And I thought us humans were meant to have more resilience.
We need more stories on survivors and fighters.
I didn’t realize that was going to be the last time….
noone forewarns you of these things and you have to somehow live with that and continue on. how? why?
so we don’t get a second chance? this unfairness just keeps playing over and over in my head.
Often I find myself alone, I feel I no longer want that, but that may be my destiny. Solidarity was once my virtue, now it’s showing me that we were made to live with others and that transition is proving contradictory.
To find someone that beats at the same rate, I imagine would be exhilarating. spiritual. inspiring. fundamental in giving life that spark.
how do you destroy those guards that’s been firmly hammered to the ground for over 20 years? why do they not tell you this at the beginning to not hammer so hard? At what point does this resilience birth…
can you meet me halfway.
A child’s smile/laughter is the greatest thing in the world. It can seriously take all worries and sadness away.
Will b the death of me. Gonna start eating better once I get back to ny.
